Smoking Kills

“Pass me a smoke. I promise it will be my last.”

“Fine. Doesnt make a difference anyways.”

“Easy, Vince. Out of courtesy? And, Pass me the lighter too.”

Vince passes the lighter.

“Do you like where you are?”

“Why, Vince, Why?”

“It’s an honest question. Cmon, Do you like where you are?”

“What do you think?”

“It was inevitable.”

“Ever felt like reliving the best moment in your life?”

“My best moment is about to come in a few hours.”

“Mine is right now.”

“Didnt you say your best moment was when you took your first smoke?”

“Of course, but I relive it every time the cellulose turns yellow. An hour glass ticking. The sand falling from the stick to my lungs each time I take a drag, signing the air in grey ink.”

“It stinks.”

“The best things in life are packaged in foul air. Everyone’s so happy jumping, they fail to notice the foulness. Trading spit on a tongue which rides on spit. New life packaged in blood,
screaming on top of its shrill lungs. Doesnt that stink, Vince?”

“You hate happy emotions, dont you? Hate forming connections?”

“I used to have a dream. A dream where I was looking for someone with whom I could connect. Tried so much. Ran so much. Waited so much. Until, the first time it touched my lips. I knew, at that very moment,
I couldnt leave her. She is my soulmate. And the best part, she connects to me when I want it to. She always stays close to me. She loves me back. That’s the connection I made, vince. So many lovers die
alone. I dont have to.”

“You are running away from something. I can feel it.”

“Are you crazy? I have what I want. What do I have to run from?”

“Your past.”

“My past is uneventful. Had a normal family. Normal friends.”

“Girlfriends?”

“Had a few. I couldnt connect with any of them. Why ask these? They are not even relevant.”

“You never experienced love?”

“I told you, vince. I love cigarettes. What’s the matter with you?”

“You never understand me.”

“What’s there to understand?”

“Nothing.”

“Pass me another.”

“You said that was your last.”

“This will be my last.”

“No.”

“Dont deny me my love.”

“Thats not love. Thats addiction.”

“I cannot live without cigarettes. I will die without them. I feel empty without them. I cannot carry on without them. I will fight for them. I will die for them. Isn’t that what is love about, Vince?”

“Love is also about letting go.”

“Bullshit! We all know it’s not. You are quoting romantic novels. They never let go until the end. They are always hoping till the end. Trying to get their love back till their very last breath. It’s never about letting go. Love becomes their addiction. I like mental peace and I chose wisely.”

“No one can convince you. Once you think you are right, you have to prove yourself at every moment.”

*Sigh* “Still dont understand me? She can convince me. About anything. So Let me re-unite with my love. Dont be the villain of the story.”

“Story??? Theres no story. Only a guy who is obsessed.”

“A guy who is obsessed with the girl, obsessed about saving the world, obsessed neverthless. All stories have a guy obsessed. Now, pass me.

“Fine.” *Pause”* “Lets make a deal. You tell me how you started. And I keep passing you.”

“No. Give me what is rightfully mine. I bought it. It’s my money. You have no right. Give it to me. Now!”

“Make the deal.”

“No.”

“Are you sure you can live even one moment without your ‘LOVE’.”

“Just pass me one.”

“Start speaking.”

“I was curious and tried it. Liked it. Fell in love.”

“Most interesting.”

“Who inspired you? Your family didnt smoke at all.”

“I answered you. I was curious. Thats all”

“Who?”

“Me”

“You? You are a wimp. You can never take this kind of a decision on your own. You always need someone to decide for you.”

“Are you provoking me?”

“Of course. You are not speaking. Need someone else to decide for you?”

“Why dont you decide, then?”

“Not so very smart. I decide you should speak.”

“Get out.”

“I can but can you?”

“Leave me alone. What do you want?”

“Understanding.”

“She put me into smoking.”

“What?”

“I love her. This is the only memory I have of her. Every time I smoke, she comes back to me smiling. Understanding how much I love her.”

*confused* “Who the hell are you talking about.”

“You wanted understanding. So do i. Why did she never understand me? What was it in me that she rejected?”

“Destroying lungs will most definitely make you understand.”

“I dont think I can understand but most assuredly, i can relive that moment.”

“which moment?”

“When she gave me my first puff.”

“I took it for her. I could never say no to her.”

“She was bad for you. Look what she did.”

“It’s not her fault, Vince. She doesnt even know my state. I dont even know where she is.”

“We can look for her.”

“I tried and then, stopped myself. She left me. In fact, we were never even together. She kept turning me down. With what right could I look for her.”

“With the right that you loved her.”

“But she never understood my love. She thought I was misguided.”

“Were you?”

“For christ’s sake, Vince. Look where I am. Look what got me here. I dont even blame her. I understand her.”

“If you did understand her, you would have also understood why she kept rejecting you in the first place.”

*Silence*

*A tear slides down MC’s cheek*

“You are right. Maybe I was misguided. Vince, but now it doesnt matter. I dont know where she is. I can hope, only hope that she is happy.”

“Here, take this stick.”

“Thanks, Vince.”

*MC takes his last drag and dies.*